Category:

How To Survive Norway

17/7/2014

Whether you have been to Norway or not, you will either know or have heard about how incredible it is, so there’s not much point in me telling you that. Rather, I feel it is better to sum up my trip through a series of hints and photos which will give you some idea of what we got up to, as well as helping you to make the most out of your own trip.

Tip 1 - Wildcamp

You can camp on pretty much any public land in Norway so make the most of it. With lakes and mountains everywhere and loads of roadside rest areas with picnic benches you’ve got everything you need.

This was our favourite place to camp in Voss... You can see why

Tip 2 - Take A Rugged Car

So many of the roads in Norway are privately owned steep, gravelly toll roads. Good traction and clearance will dramatically reduce your anxiety and will make you less bitter about having to pay to use a road that is ruining your car. Having a rugged car will also stop you from having to do the car-based equivalent of a walk-out with all of your kit.

Tip 3 - Use Newish Kit

Your boat and paddle will probably take the most intense and long-lasting battering possible, so make sure it’s in good condition before you leave, and wherever possible, take spares.

Luke proved that a good boof is not always a good plan

Tip 4 - Take Food And Booze From Home

People tell you that Norway is expensive, but nothing will prepare you for the reality. It costs about £4 to by a normal bag of Haribo. If you’re on a budget, simply avoid shopping.

Tip 5 - Stay Safe

Get a spraydeck that will stay on your boat and a good helmet that stays on your head. If in doubt, simply avoid running things on your head or face.

What's the line?... Just don't run it on your face

Tip 6 - You Will Get Moist, And Stay Moist

We were very lucky with the weather on our trip, so don’t watch the video and be fooled by the glorious sunshine, it rains in Norway. Even if your weather is kind to you, the excessive splashiness of the whitewater will keep you wet for weeks.

Moist

Tip 7 - You Will Get Scared

Make sure that you recognise this and accept it from the start. Grade V whitewater should be scary and you may occasionally find yourself suffering from Acute Gnar-crisis, a condition in which all confidence is lost and even Grade I looks terrifying. Fortunately, treatment is effective by either continuing to paddle the gnar or by becoming jealous of other people paddling the gnar. Beware however that symptoms may be exacerbated by the overwhelming presence of Professional Boaters and God Boaters in Norway.

Coming this close to running a burly rock slide on your face will give anyone a touch of Gnar-crisis

Tip 8 - Make Everyone Else Jealous

Kiwi Supermarkets have free Wifi, toilets and water taps so you can make your friends jealous on a daily basis by telling them how much fun you are having. You are also highly likely to bump into other kayaking bums which can be useful for networking purposes.

So if you love the gnar and you haven’t been to Gnarway, you had better get planning. It is, without a doubt, the most beautiful country I have ever visited and is home to some of the most varied, continuous, exhilarating and scary rivers on earth. I will eagerly await my invitation.

0 Comments

A Kayaker's Guide To Making Friends

10/4/2014

2 Comments

Believe it or not, the topic of making friends will perplex even the most sociable of kayakers at some point in their paddling career. This is not because we are weird, many of us are in fact relatively normal. It’s because we rely on our paddling buddies in a very different way to how we rely on our boozy weekend buddies.

Whilst considering the differences between my paddling buddies and my boozy weekend buddies, it occurred to me that my experiences as a disabled paddler are probably not particularly representative. For example, I look for friends with the ability to carry both my weighty kayak and my weighty self to and from the river. I have therefore decided to supplement my own advice with the opinions and experiences of other paddlers. The added advantage is that, should you need to blame anyone for any negative consequences incurred as a result of following this advice, you can blame them rather than blaming me.

You can of course go boozing with paddling buddies. Taking your boozing buddies paddling however is less advisable.

So here we go. It’s by no means a comprehensive list, but this is the paddlers’ choice of four tips for making friends. Some are more useful than others.

2 Comments

How to Start Kayaking or Canoeing

23/1/2014

5 Comments

6 Top (ish) Tips for Beginner Kayakers

After a rather tragic amount of internet browsing, I have realised that it is a somewhat confusing world in which first-time kayakers must find their feet.

This article combines the advice that I give to people getting into canoeing and kayaking, with a series of links to other more useful sources of information. So here we go, 6 top tips for the novice kayaker (because 5 is not enough and 10 is too cliché!)

Enjoying the early days at Symonds Yat

5 Comments

How To Make Your Helmet Fit Better

5/1/2014

1 Comment

As whitewater kayakers, we've all had times when we've been really glad to have worn a decent lid. If you're anything like me however, you've probably also had a few times when you wished your helmet fitted a bit better.

As you probably know, most of the helmets at the higher end of the market now come with special 'fit pads' so that you can do a bit of your own customisation. Even with these, I still find it impossible to get a helmet to fit properly so I took matters into my own hands.

Here's how to create a special foam insert to get that illusive perfect fit...